- the next trimester - the next trimester
Week 25 Week 26 : Upper Class Twits Week 27

"If you get caught for speeding, just tell them you're taking me to the hospital. And if the hospital's the other way, just tell them you're confused." -a.

Shower gift stats:
Cute outfits: Thirty-seven
Cute toys: Eight
Cute books: Five
Cute strollers: One
Animal of choice: Froggies
Weight of gifts: 33.1kg (Stat added retroactively after suitcase of gifts was put on airport scale to fly back to London).

Developed this week: An ability to say 'awwww' dozens of times while being watched by thirty friends as we open our baby presents, and still sound like we mean it every time.

Aimee's thoughts:
It's time for a baby shower! So much to do, so much to plan, so much to worry about. Oh wait, thanks to my sister, there's actually NOTHING we have to do for the baby shower except get all fancy and turn up.

Not having to worry about the shower is a godsend this week because it's beginning to feel as though we have two years' worth of special occassions, holidays and visiting rolled into two weeks. Which is exactly what we've got. Our baby shower starts off a week that will see Kevin's bro get married, our nephews start school, Kev's mom turn 60, and we even go to church to add to the holiday effect.

What does this mean for Kev and I? Chaos alternating with jam-packed fun. The sort of fun that makes you get up at 6am to meet Dean and Cheryl for breakfast at Timmy's because he's got to leave for firefighting at 8am. Chaos like trying to explain to to worried mother of the groom that we actually are fully capable of taking care of the flowers for the wedding. No, really. People in the real world trust us for lots of important things - we can buy a bouquet of flowers. We can handle it. More flower advice? No, I don't think the city will sell out of roses by this weekend. What's that? We can't hear you. Lalalalala.

Or the kind of fun that includes watching Dallyn annoy his brother by robot dancing to the score of Paper Mario. The kind of chaos that involves trying to stay out of the way of 13 Mexican houseguests by living in the trailer in the backyard. (A trailer which is quite luxurious, but not made for pregnant women. I had to practically roll myself to the washroom five times a night.)

So how did we expect to find calm in all of this excitement? Well, we escaped to Inga's house. Using a house with three young boys living in it as our escape from wedding chaos shows you how truly crazy things were in Beimersland. But for a while it worked. Mornings were spend quietly drinking coffee on the patio at Inga's while Kev got in some serious nephew/nintendo quality time.

However, even this couldn't last. It ended with the maternity dress. How could a maternity dress ruin the calmness of Lingmanland? We didn't see it coming either.

It started with a kind offer of a maternity dress from Scott's mom. Her daughter had worn this dress while she was pregnant and she thought I might like it. I took one look at it and realised that her daughter must have been a much slimmer pregnant woman than I am and commented that I didn't even think the dress would fit seven-year-old Dallyn.

For some reason, we had to prove whether I spoke the truth. I didn't. The dress was rather becoming on Dallyn.

Store this picture away to resurface about the time of Dallyn's first date.

What a good sport he was, especially to let us take his picture. Once we adults had all begun to feel somewhat guilty about making a young boy try on a maternity dress (and hat, I told you things were starting to go wacky), we felt as though we had to make it up to him somehow.

So Kev (who Dallyn adores) tried on the dress. Possibly to show him that real men wear dresses? It didn't fit.

Yes, those ARE caribou antlers behind Kevin. Oh Canada!

Can't stop there. Grandpa had to try on the dress. It fit perfectly and made him look like a little old woman.

I think my Dad got the most enjoyment out of the dress.

At no point did I actually try on the dress, but I do think I got enough mileage out of it to return it with thanks.

So you see, it really doesn't matter where you go, it's CHAOS! CHAOS EVERYWHERE! And this is only the beginning...

Kevin's thoughts:
I'd never been to a baby shower before today, and perhaps that's best. From what I know from Aimee's experiences and American TV, a baby shower usually consists of all of mom's friends sitting on chintsy furniture playing games like 'What's In The Purse?' and 'How Tall Are You In Toilet Paper?'. At the extreme outside edge, somebody might sneak some sherry in. If you're lucky.

However, since WE were helping to plan this shower, and both boys and girls were invited, we could break any barriers we wanted. Good thing, too, or else the boys would have been really stuck on the purse game (and somehow, 'What's That In Your Pocket?' would have had the potential for disastrous results).

The shower was a formal affair - British High Tea, complete with scones, tea, and little tiny sandwiches cut into triangles just like the Queen eats. The tables were decorated with bobby hats and Union Flags (not Union Jacks, as we were not at sea at the time. There's a little known fact for you. Source: Rose Tyler, Doctor Who), and of course, as we love to do, we got to make up our own games. Here they are, in case you ever have a British Tea Themed Baby Shower.

Bloody waste of good tea tha' is, innit?
First event: the Tea Toss! This was originally going to be Scone Throwing, but we didn't think the hotel would go for that. Put a tea pot (empty) in the middle of the floor, then draw a line on the hotel carpet with magic marker. Everyone gets a teabag and writes their name on the taggy bit that hangs out of the cup. Then, toss it at the teapot! If only one person gets it in, they win! If two people get it in by some ridiculous stroke of luck, then those two need to battle it out in a sudden tea death overtime (allow 10 minutes for overtime tosses).

The winner: Cheryl! I think she won the teapot, and some tea, or something. Hooray!

Princess Cam, Queen Janet, Captain Trish and Sir Freddie of Mercury
Second game: Queen Impersonation! This was divided up into three categories: best wave, best voice, and the contestant's choice. The best in show turned out to be Cam, which is strange because he didn't win any of the other three, but it was perhaps a combination of his there's-a-boil-on-me-arse joke, his queenly clearing of the royal throat, and the fact that he didn't use his tits to sway the vote to his favour. Hem hem hem!

Third game: Lower class language lessons. We've lived in the UK long enough to pick up some of the slang, but short enough that we still think the words are weird. Is Victoria Beckham a 'wag' or a 'swat'? Is Alan Sugar 'monged' or 'minted'? The average Canadian wouldn't know a rollmop from a croydon facelift, any more than a Brit would know poutine from the Polkaroo.

We wrote a pair of definitions for each word - 'Bap': is it a bun or a bricklayer? - then asked the buns to stand on one side of the room, and the bricklayers on the other. Buns stayed in the game, bricklayers were out. My brother won this game on the word 'Minger', with the guts to remain on the 'ugly person' side while the rest of the contestants shifted to the 'rich person' side. He won a chav gift pack (incidentally, a chav is a subcultural stereotype expressed by a love of bling and Burberry, NOT a processed cheese and meat combo served with chips in a kebab shop).

Whew! That's one party down, two to go! Next week, Chris's wedding, followed by my mom's birthday. I can't think of a witty concluding sentence for this writeup, so, um, sorry.

Did you know?

The most common baby shower game is one where the participants are blindfolded and forced to eat babyfood. The goal of this sick game is to guess what flavour of mush you are eating.

Gosh, I'm so upset that we didn't do this at our shower, and instead taught a group of Canadians the difference between a Chav, a Yob, a Hooligan and a Nonce.

Note: Thunder Bay actually has a fairly high percentage of unsuspecting chavs. Perhaps now that we've educated the masses, the chavs will become self-aware.

Also note: There were no chavs in attendance at our shower, so don't go thinking we're insulting the gorgeous people that are our friends.

Preggy Pal of the Week

We're back with home-grown preggy pals! This week we meet Stasia and Gary who are preparing to have their second baby. It it's anything like their first, the world is in for a very cute treat.

Stasia and Gary
When's it due? Baby is due on March 15th The Ides of March hmmm

Any names picked out? Alina wasnt named for a week after her birth, so Im thinking that itll probably be at least a month for this one!! HaHa!!

Will you know the sex of the baby before it's born? We wont know the sex of the baby before its born We believe that there is so much that can go wrong in a pregnancy that the less we know the better... It worked the first time!!

Any weird cravings? No weird cravings really just craving more time with my family, since Ive been back to work..

Most memorable moment? The second baby is so different than the first for the longest time, Gary & I kind of forgot that I was pregnant. I still feel so good & now that Im over the nausea, its just like Im back to my old self. I am way more energetic this time than with Alina. I used to sleep for two hours after I got home from work, & now I go all day without even a nap. So really, the most memorable moment for us was probably just the first time that we learned we were pregnant again OH ya, & maybe having to tell my boss that Id be leaving again after only being back to work for 7 months!!

The best pregnancy advice you'd like to pass on? Best pregnancy advice enjoy every moment especially when your body starts to blossom into this gorgeous form. I would have walked around naked all day long when I was pregnant the first time I was never so comfortable with my body. I wished that Id taken more pictures. The only belly photo I have of myself is the day that I went into labour & Im standing there in my big girl undies with my ratty old pj top on I am smiling though!! I am going to do some professional photos with Alina, Gary & myself when my belly is large & luminous.

Everyone into the poll!

At the shower we had a "Most Outlandish Hat" competition, and, just for shits and giggles, we thought we'd see if the world agrees with the decision of the room. Click the circle under the photo to vote for it, the click "Vote!" to-- ah, you've all done this before.

Q. Who's got the best hat?












Tell us why in a very small box:

Results next week!
Did you fly while pregnant?


It's fun to fly...
"Yes to Spain.... and spend 10 glorious days chaparoning a high school trip. (Skipped the side trip to Morocco, but only because I had passed out in the dining room. Seemed a good day to take a nap.)"
Or maybe it's not...
"Flew to Thunder Bay at 8 months for my sister's wedding. I was not a happy camper and neither was anyone at the Northwest counter when I was finished with them."

Baby's Book of the Week

The Gas We Pass
By Shinta Cho
More of an encyclopedia of farts than a journey through the land of gas. You'll learn about how gas happens and what different farts sound like - very useful knowledge to have if you're a small child. The illustrations could have been better, but there is a certain appeal in the Japanese look of them. Warning: ends very abruptly.
Aimee's cravings

All forms of Thunder Bay food, but especially Taco Time. Bean burritos rule.

Note: No one has fed me steak yet, but I have had beef in all other forms on a daily basis. Moo.

Send a message to the womb and beyond!

baby is welcomed
to Canada by the
Royal Canadian
Moose Police
baby attends a
baby meets
the cousins
baby meets
other babies

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We've got mail...

Are you two sure you aren't having twins? Now, that dress Wendy wore when she was 6 months pregnant & everyone thought she was having twins... Must say Grandpa Dave looked pretty spiffy in the attire. And Dallyn... did you guys really make him wear the hat to go with the dress... LOL...Now I thought only Grans could make their Grandsons have a fashion show...we will hide that picture. ;-) Glad you enjoyed yourselves & so sorry I missed you both. Aimee & Kev, you will make wondeful parents... Take care & look forward to loads of baby girl pictures...
- Gran Warren
Thunder Bay, ON

It looks like everyone had a fun time at your baby shower!!! Please keep me posted... you're huge!!! But glowing. Enjoy every single moment!!!
- Michelle
Southern Ontario


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Interested in Kevin and Aimee's other adventures? Of course you are!
Lose a month out of your life reading the Roadtrip or the Bikeabout. They're rather funny.

© 2006 Kevin & Aimee & Baby Beimers.
I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Bungee Wedgie.