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Week 14 Week 15 : Hush little baby... Week 16

"Are you having fun watching me attempt to pick stuff up? Aw man, I missed one!" -a.

Baby stats:
Current size: 4 inches
Weight: 2.5 ounces of pure cuteness
Aimee's key symptom: Getting hungrier all the time!

Developed this week: The ability to see light, such as the glaring florescent bulbs within my local McDonalds.
Aimee's thoughts:
My midwife refers to babies as parasites. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Babies take over a woman's body for 40 weeks and suck all the most essential nutrients for themselves.

I was relating this theory to a colleague the other day and when I mentioned that there is not a single part of my body that isn't (or won't be) affected by the baby, she challenged me to name how the baby could possible have an effect on, for instance, my eyeballs. Quick as a bunny, I jumped back with the explanation that the shape of our eyes actually change and we can no longer wear our contact lenses. Hah! I may be clever, but am I right? Is EVERY part really affected? Let's see....

Shall we start at the top? Your hair gets shinier and starts to grow like crazy. You'll be too tired to go to the hairdresser, so you'll have to resist the temptation to engage in a hormone induced self-cut.

The results of this could trigger a nasty headache in (where else?) your head. Some women can start to get headaches as they get further along in their pregnancies. I've been lucky as this hasn't happened to me.

However, I have been suffering lately from a congested nose that has me running to the bathroom for the kleenex (or, here in Britain, to the toilet for a tissue) several times a day. While I'm there, I might as well brush my teeth, because they're at a much higher risk of gum disease and inflamation. Plus, I've still got that nasty taste of copper following me around everywhere I go, so an extra brush never hurts.

One symptom I'm hoping to avoid is chloasma, also known as 'pregnancy mask'. This happens in the second trimester and causes darker pigmented spots to appear on your face. This simply means that your face will be following in the footsteps of your nipples, which have become much darker and in some cases, larger. Breasts in general are two to three sizes bigger and much more tender.

This can add to back pain that gets worse as your belly grows. With such a big belly, sleeping on your tummy or back is no longer an option. Trying to sleep in new positions can cause spasms in your bum and thighs, jerking you awake at night.

Overall, the appearance of your legs goes downhill from the combined swelling and inability to shave properly. If you're lucky, you'll have a hubby who can help you out with the shaving and also with some serious foot rubs to bring the swelling of your feet down.

You know what? In listing these, I realised that I was wrong. There IS one portion of your body that doesn't change. Your neck. As far as I can tell, your neck is completely and utterly unaffected by pregnancy. Isn't that fantastic?

Of course, once all of these symptoms add up, one might say this whole pregnancy thing is a pain in the neck overall. But it's worth it!
Kevin's thoughts:
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love technology. No, this isn't going to be about Baby Bratz again, I'm talking about REAL technology this time.

You see, I got tired of Aimee hoarding the baby all to herself. "Ooh," she'd say in a voice that sounds rather like me talking in a nasal falsetto, "something's going on inside my tummy, but YOU CAN'T FEEL IT HAHAHAHA." Every frickin' frackin' day I had to put up with this, so I took matters into my own hands.

As hard as I looked, it seemed no one else in the world had taken the reins my incredibly unique idea of an Ultrasound jerryrigged from FishFinder technology (at least not on eBay). So I bought the next best thing: a Fetal Heart Monitor.

It's like a big microphone on one end (heart-shaped for babies) and a set of headphones on the other. Thanks to this purchase, I now have two wonderful things: the real-time reassurance of my baby's well-being, and free headphones.

So now, instead of Aimee saying to me, "Baby just kicked your hand, did you feel it?" and me saying, "Umm... no?" because what might have been a kick might also have been a bubble of intestinal gas (much more likely to be found inside Aimee on a regular basis), I can now stick on my headphones, switch on the Fetal Heart Monitor, and be lulled to contentment by the soothing wub-wub-wub sound of my baby's heart.

I can just hear you all saying "Awwwww?" at my loving-fatherly comment, but you'll Aww TWICE as loud when you hear it for yourself! Take a listen!

Listen to the beating heart of my unborn child!
MP3 format, 255Kb, 15 seconds. Stick it on your iPod!

And as for those free headphones, let me just say in appreciation that these are proper over-the-head shaped headphones, and thank goodness they are because I'm one of the unlucky 5% of the population who can't seem to keep those stupid little nubbin iPod earplugs inside the natural folds of my mutant ears without the aid of Blu-tack. I looked around on the tube one day, and noticed the only other guy within sight who, like me, didn't have nubbin-grabbing ear ridges was quite obviously unemployable without some sort of special program as an intermediary. Let's just hope the baby has Aimee's ears.

Did you know?

As your uterus gets larger, you are no longer supposed to sleep on your back? It's a position that puts the full weight of your uterus on your spine, back muscles, intestines, and the inferior vena cava (the vein that transports blood from your lower body to the heart). You could also cut off the oxygen supply to the baby!

For those of you that don't have a uterus, did you know that sleeping on your wife's uterus can also cut off oxygen to the baby? So don't try it!
Preggy Pal of the Week!

Leslie and Colin
When's it due? December 8th.

Any names picked out? Not yet, but considering our first child is Gavyn Reese Archibald Cooke-Bithrey, you can bet the second will also have a tough time in kindergarten!

Will you know the sex of the baby before it's born? Absolutely will find out. Can't stand a stranger (the technician) knowing something that I don't know.

Any weird cravings? Everything that's not nailed down.

Most memorable moment? Hmmm...nothing so far.....although Gavyn telling everyone at daycare that his mummy has a baby in her belly, before we were ready to tell anyone came pretty close!

The best pregnancy advice you'd like to pass on? Regarding morning sickness and other preggie symptoms.....they won't last forever...has a nine month expiry. Oh, and the body pillow thing was great advice for getting a relatively good night's sleep.

Anything else you'd like to add? Best of luck to you and Kevin! It's so exciting...children are more entertaining than TV! :)
Aimee's cravings

I'm embarrased to say that my latest craving is McDonald's Fries. How can my body be craving a food that isn't really even a food, but rather the nutritional equivalent of deep fried paper pulp?

I thought cravings were my body telling my that I was missing out on an essential nutrient. What could this nutrient be? Salt? Saturated Fats?

Well, I've only given in to this craving once so far, so here's hoping it's a short-lived one as I was ashamed just to walk into the place.

Pssst. When I did eat them that one time, they were really, really good.
Everyone into the poll!

If the baby decides to cooperate, on July 14th the mystery will be revealed and we'll find out whether we're about to have a little girl or a little boy!

It seems like everyone has a different theory on what makes it obvious that we're having one or the other, so tell us what you think and WHY you think it! We'll keep a running poll going for the next few weeks until the second-most exciting day of the year!

Q. Are we having a girl or a boy?
     Girl!         Boy!
Tell us why in a very small box:

Results on Week 20!
Last Week's Poll: Would you find out the sex of your baby...

Baby's Book of the Week

I'm Not Cute!
By Jonathan Allen
With such a not-cute title, and a not-cute picture on the front cover, how could we resist this book? Admittedly, it's a quick read; the average reader of could probably get through it in an afternoon. Watch out for that surprise ending!

Send a message to the womb and beyond!

baby's first cuban festival baby goes
to work

We've got mail...

Also expect a line from your navel straight downward. I’m assuming that this was nature’s way of telling the doctors – the baby is down here…
- Dan
Nepean, ON

Hey guys....the recording was great....except, I think that either my computer wasn't playing it at the right speed, or it is the sound of the placenta....the heart sounds like a galloping horse, and the whooshing is the blood flow from the placenta to the baby and back.....
- Michelle & Sean
Brantford, ON

Nice heart beat! I’m wondering though (as a 2-time pregger myself) if that's the baby's or Aimee's heartbeat? Maybe you should move it a little to the left – shouldn't the baby's heartbeat be much faster? Or are the fish 'n chips over there slowing it down?
Glad the 2 ½ of you are well. Keep it up!
- Kippy
Ottawa, ON

Brilliant stuff you two, or is that three? Keep that 'beat' going, steady as she goes. All the best,
- Paddy & Kylie
Melbourne, Vic

Wow! THAT is cool. And you and your bump look beautiful! xoxo
- Alissa
New York, NY

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Interested in Kevin and Aimee's other adventures? Of course you are!
Lose a month out of your life reading the Roadtrip or the Bikeabout. They're rather funny.

© 2006 Kevin & Aimee & Baby Beimers.